“There is a sense of anticipation churning deep within me. It’s there when I rise and when I fall asleep. It’s there as I move about my day. It’s a burning desire I can’t ignore. It feels as though I am being prepared. Something is coming. Something good, but something challenging and hard as well. I’m excited. And I’m ready, or at least I feel like I am. I’m sitting here saying, I’m ready! Let’s go, Lord. Let’s do this thing! Use me now. Why must we wait any longer?
Yet I find myself waiting again. And, the waiting is filled with so much doubt. Does this mean I can’t be used? That I am not worthy? Surely if there is a desire to step up, to serve, to surrender, to lead, to love then he would jump at the chance to use that desire. Wouldn’t He? But we wait, together. For I know He is with me in the waiting.
What does it mean that you are waiting, Lord? I know your timing is perfect, and so I wait on you in trust. Trust that requires your help and your strength for this impatient girl. I know you are working in me through my present circumstance and you’re using the now. I’m just ready for the next. I’m doing all I can to sharpen my sword, shine my armor, and brace myself for the battle. Digging into you and leaning into your word as I wait. And I’ll continue to do so until your plan is revealed.”
This is a journal entry from a few months ago when I was knee-deep in a struggle of waiting.
Do you ever feel like you spend a lot of time waiting on the Lord’s timing?
You’re not alone.
It’s what we do in the waiting that determines where our journey will lead.
Will you trust? Will you doubt?
Will you sharpen your sword, and prepare your armor?
Will you choose to have unbreakable faith?
Will you fight the uncertainty.
Will you dig in your heels?
How will you wait?